Wayans played it too safe.
Look, I’ll be the first to admit it: I am a wordy guy. I love to talk, I love to dive deep into the weeds of cinema, and I especially love it when a movie gives me something—anything—to chew on. But after sitting through Scary MoVIe, I’m left with a mouthful of nothing. It breaks my heart to say this, but it appears the Wayans family has finally gone soft in their old age. We’re talking about Keenen Ivory Wayans here—the man is a comedic architect! At nearly 70, the genius who helped give us the original Scary Movie franchise seems to have decided that playing it safe is the new “pushing the envelope.”
The Wayans family, whose family consists of a small nation of people, were known to the world in the 80’s and 90’s for their pushing-the-envelope style of comedy in shows like In Living Color and movies like I’m Gonna Git You Sucka. Keenen all but brought back to life the parody in these times while producing great flicks and comedy specials like Eddie Murphy’s Raw and allowed other siblings to mature on their own.
Then the millennium hit, and we got Scary Movie. It was raunchy, it was unapologetic, and it made celebrities fair game again. I remember the energy in the theater—it felt like the Wayans were back in business and the world was their oyster. It was a massive hit, and for a minute there, the parody felt relevant again.
Part 2 was equally as funny, if not more quotable. Seriously, I dare you to find a millennial who doesn’t know “My germs!” The Wayans’ exited when part three was discussed due to wanting more money, but who could blame them?
Anyways, fans of the series somewhat rejoiced (remember: Those of us who were in our teens to early 20’s when the franchise started are now 40+) when it was announced that the brothers were broke, no longer in demand, on the wrong side of over the hill, but got the rights back for the franchise. See guys: it’s not that hard to make fun of yourself.
But man, was I wrong. Has it really been 13 years since the last one? I stopped watching when the brothers left, and frankly, parodies died for me because no one can handle a joke anymore. We used to have roasts; now we have HR meetings with punchlines. MoVIe is less a film and more a collection of vignettes that someone forgot to glue together. It’s a lot of non-laughter and missed opportunities.
The “Rebootiquel” (reboot/sequel), has Cindy (Ana Farris) waiting for Ghost Face’s return in a heavily booby trapped home (Final Destination: Bloodlines meets Halloween (2018)). Her neglected daughters Sara (Olivia Rose Keegan, who does a great job acting like Cindy) and Tuesday (Savannah Lee Nassif) start to see a death pattern returning to their hometown and its pointing to Cindy and her high school pals.
Sara and her boyfriend Jack (Cameron Roberts) go to talk to Cindy, only to come up short. Speaking of short, remember Shorty (Marlon Wayans, also co-writer)? Well he’s back and looking well into his 50’s, much like older bro Shawn, who returns to play the stereotyped in-the-closet Ray. Ghost Face continues to wreak havoc and the original line up from Movie has to take out the trash to prove that they will never be replaced.
The movie is a parody of the Scream franchise first and foremost, focussing on part six and seven. Just about everyone knows the 90’s slasher was a tongue-in-cheek look at the craze from a decade prior and was originally called Scary Movie. So when those movies stopped (this may be a hard pill to swallow, but Scream was originally a planned trilogy), Movie had to parody other flicks of the day, which grew tiresome before they were even made. The parody is only funny when it’s relevant or has a fun storyline. Robin Hood: Men in Tights , Spaceballs or the before mentioned I’m Gonna Git You Sucka are all perfect examples of how to have a story and parody at the same time.
The Movie wave struck hard in the 2000’s: Epic Movie, Super Hero Movie and Date Movie to name a few. At first the fad worked but soon the fun and excitement left the room faster than Marvel’s fanbase.
The main issue with MoVIe is that the Wayans’ played it too safe with the jokes. Rather than roast each other or point out shortcomings, they wanted to make a flattering joke that would make a smile and have people go “Oh fun,” instead of hollering and say “Ahhhhahahaha!!! Got’ em!”
In the opening, Teyana Taylor is on a blind date waiting for the man to show up (a la Scream 6). Rather than making a joke about her, they pay homage to her still being a “New York City girl” and ready to shake up the white folks. Well, her lines land like a wet fart. Why were there no jokes about HIM? I loved that flick and it was obvious Marlon acted his brains out, but c’mon. Shawn’s Ray does a joke combining Mr. Delivert and Sinners. Bruh, that video is from 12 years ago. The Wayans had a good set up for Covid, but decided against it when they lost so many family members, so why bother? The original lineup looks tired and wanting to be in another movie.
That’s not to say all the jokes were bad. In the beginning, Sara and Jack are talking outside of their amusement park jobs while “Final Destination: The Ride Where Everyone DIES!” is proudly displayed. While they talk, the ride is going haywire, and much like the tagline suggests: Everyone is being killed. Brenda (Regina Hall, the only character I liked) has a great line when Cindy rolls up to the party ready to kill Ghost Face. Cindy is dressed like a sexy assassin. “Oh, girl, are you ‘Joan Wick?’ I was gonna say ‘Ballerina’ but nobody saw that shit.” Her whole character is a riff on Ma. That movie has been out for seven years and NO ONE has made fun of it until now. She continues in a hilarious bit about being shot. A great bit involving Nurse DEI.
The Wayans’ have built their name on going too far and to see them take the flattering comedic route is like watching ice cream melt. It used to be good, solid and cool. Now, it’s just mushy goo. Gone are the days where they could shit talk and now is “I hope I didn’t upset you.” The bulk of the movie felt like when Saturday Night Live made fun of Joe Biden. Rather than pointing out the American public voted in a man who fell asleep during meetings and couldn’t be disturbed after 8pm they turned the other way and said “Everything is fine, nothing to see here!” like Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun. When questioned about it, his press secretary says “Oh those are cheapfakes.” The whole nation pretends that everything is normal while Ghost Face is chillin and killin. I know Leslie Neilsen is dead, but you can bring back President Harris and really let it go.
See? It’s not that difficult.
Scary MoVIe is now playing in theaters
Directed by Michael Tiddes
Written by Keenen Ivory Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Craig Wayans and Rick Alvarez
Starring: Ana Farris, Regina Hall, Marlon Wayans
Genre: Comedy
Runtime: 96 mins
Classic American Movies 
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