Classic American Movies

The podcast is now a blog! Everything you wanted to know about a movie and then some. They're not all classics or American made, but I guarantee they're all movies. Check out the links below for episodes and more.

Christopher Kelly

I’m just a man who loves movies and loves talking about them. Classic American Movies is my podcast and now review blog! Unless otherwise noted, all writings are by me.

Movie Reviews

Supergirl

This movie will make you get up, up and away from your theater.

It’s official: Superhero fatigue is here.

While critics have been pointing at 2019’s Avengers: Endgame as the turning point, the mass audience has been checking out since the 2022 Black Adam debacle. I never bought into the formula to begin with; it’s all the same glossy, ‘save-the-world’ caped crap. At least with horror or comedy, you can switch things up—but here? The hero wins, evil loses, and the audience leaves bored. But hey, I’m just a guy with an opinion; plenty of people write about this stuff who actually enjoy the genre.

Supergirl is just more of the same—a wash-rinse-repeat entry in decades of tired tropes. It’s got that safe James Gunn vibe, designed to keep the tweens smiling and the soundtrack accessible enough that nobody gets confused. I’ll keep the spoilers to a minimum, but I’d bet a box of Hot Tamales you can already guess exactly how this plays out.

^{Milly Alcock as Kara Zor-El (Supergirl) and her dog Krypto}

Kara Zor-El (Milly Alcock) is Superman’s cousin, but unlike Clark Kent (David Corenswet), she actually grew up on Krypton. The planet is all good, but it’s valuable resources are carelessly mined and Kara’s dad launches her to Earth, dog Krypto in tow, to find her cousin. She lands on Earth, learns English, figures out the yellow sun gives her powers, and tries to live a normal life.

Fast forward to her twenties: she’s a hardened, booze-guzzling mess drifting from planet to planet. She sticks to red-sun zones to keep her powers in check. While she’s nursing a drink at a dive bar, a girl named Ruthye (Eve Ridley) comes in searching for ‘The Krem’ (Matthias Schoenaerts), the space pirate who killed her family. After a scuffle where Kara has to intervene, she gets dragged into a revenge mission. Why? Well …Krypto gets shot with a poison dart, and suddenly, they’re on a quest to stop the bad guys. This story is as fresh as flatulence after a chili cook-off.

Jason Momoa’s Rob Zombie, ehh Lobo, shows up, feeling like a late-game reshoot addition—stilted, out of place, and given nothing to do. James Gunn’s influence feels like a gimmick at this point. If he were attached to something that didn’t feel like this, I’d be shocked.

^{Jason Momoa as Lobo, getting ready to slam in the back of his dragula.}

Comparing Supergirl to a bad movie feels like calling all slashers trash. The formula that worked for Marvel for years just doesn’t land anymore. It doesn’t matter what company’s name is on it. You can’t just keep partying like you’re twenty because the hangover eventually hits.

What really sucks is that Alcock seems like a decent person in interviews and is happy to be part of the DC universe. She comes off as confident and cool, wanting to make Kara her own. When asked about not looking at previous Supergirls for guidance, she said “They’re just people living their lives. It’s not like we have this blood bond,” which I can respect.

The movie has crash landed at the worst time. Based on the box office thus far, audiences are sick of superheroes, not just female superheroes, as was being touted. It’s clear that people want less polish, more filth. They want something, anything different. It’s pretty clear why movies like Obsession and Backrooms are obliterating the box office on budgets that this movie spent on water: It’s different.

Supergirl is the final nail in the coffin.

_{“What re you looking at, butthead?” The Krem (Matthias Schoenaerts) and Supergirl square off.}

Side note:

Why was Superman portrayed as a whiny Aunt? He’s Superman. Yeah, I get having him call Kara and wish her happy birthday but he is annoying in this. I just rewatched Superman after viewing this and he doesn’t come off that way in the movie. It would appear that sometimes actress and second script ever writer Ana Nogueria wants to diminish men to being pathetic and wants to tell the world. The reshoots calmed this down but still: The feeling is in the air.

Supergirl is now playing in theaters

Directed by Craig Gillespie

Written by Ana Nogueria

Starring: Milly Alcock, Eve Ridley, Matthias Schoenaerts

Genre: Action

Runtime: 107 mins

by Christopher Kelly June 29, 2026

Disclosure Day

Visually amazing, no depth.

Steven Spielberg is easily one of the most (if not the most) recognizable names in Hollywood history. Almost anyone can name one of his movies, and I would be willing to bet a large sum of money that for at least two generations everyone can say one of his movies that heavily affected their lives. For me, that’s Jaws. When I was a boy and watched that for the first time, it scared me so badly I didn’t want to take a bath. I was terrified the shark would bust through the bathtub and a Quint-like fight-for-my-life would ensue. Jurassic Park was released when I was in second grade, when I learned about dinosaurs, so Park felt like it was my personal film. I’ve always loved that movie and own it on multiple physical media formats because … Well, that’s love.

I dare say that Spielberg has a near perfect career. Having only a few flops to his name in over 50 years is out of this world. He also revolutionized the industry in 1975 with Jaws, making him not only a genius filmmaker, but he, almost alone, completely changed when movies were released. Over the decades his films have heavily showcased his interest in extraterrestrial life. Some serious, others family friendly, but all were amazing. At the age of 79, 35 feature films directed, five of which are about aliens, Spielberg doesn’t seem to be slowing down. Here comes Disclosure Day. Which, as one would think based on the title, would be all about the disclosure of alien life forms and the effect on humanity.

^{Emily Blunt as Margaret Fairchild}

Day begins with a punch to the gut. We meet a bunch of people, don’t know what’s going on, but I’m invested. I’ve been vocal about loving movies (and books) that begin in the middle of an action and the audience needs to figure out what’s going on. Dr. Daniel Kellner (Josh O’Connor, Wake Up Dead Man) is a former hacker turned cyber security expert for Wardex (Watch, Recon, Develop, EXtract), a behind-the-curtain company tasked with suppressing alien knowledge to the public. After seeing countless videos of aliens, Kellner decides to expose everything. Not so fast, Dr. K, Noah Scanlon (Colin Firth, The King’s Speech), head of Wardex, isn’t having it. They got Kellner’s girlfriend, Jane (Eve Hewson, Jay Kelly) and are ready to swap data for the girl. But, that wouldn’t be a very good opening, so Kellner sykes his way out of the trade off and he and Jane go on the lam, learning more about Jane’s nunhood previous life and search for a way to disclose the truth to the world.

Margaret Fairchild (Emily Blunt, The Devil Wears Prada) is the local weather girl for Kansas City television. She wakes up one day and can speak fluent languages she’s only heard in movies. While delivering the weather, she starts speaking in a strange clicking tone that immediately goes viral. This language she was speaking wasn’t her having a stroke, it was alien and only Dr. K can understand it. Because … You know, he speaks alien too. Duh. But they must meet up, because they both have a connection that cannot be explained. It’s a race across the lands for Fairchild and Dr. K to meet, expose and let the world know the truth. Wardex will stop at nothing to get the files back. Former Wardex employee Hugo Wakefield (Colman Domingo, who has been quietly having the best decade for an actor) is reconstructing Fairchild’s childhood home to help unlock suppressed alien memories. I mean, yeah, if you have a chance to put Domingo in your movie, just do it.

Buckle up: It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Day has some of the most impressive camera work I’ve seen in recent years. Spielberg and cinematographer Janusz Kaminski (his cinematographer for 33 years, starting on Schindler’s List) craft beautiful oners (one long continuous take, without cuts) that not just put you in the moment, but make you forget to breathe. Just from the start, when we are introduced to Fairchild and “something just isn’t right” with her, the look and feel not just showcase how hard she works at the station, but also shows that everyone is weirded out. The camera tags along like an assistant eager with a coffee, but fearful to interrupt. As an audience, we don’t want to look away, but we need to blink. Kellner being pursued by Wardex shows off a car chase as destructive as a Fast and Furious flick, but with the coolness of The Seven-Ups.

^{Colin Firth as Noah Scanlon}

The problem with Day is that there is no care or depth in the characters. Yeah, we get who everyone is, but why should I care about them? They hold all the rich, bold info that will rip humanity apart and change how the world views everything but are presented as flat saucer. Blunt’s Fairchild is impressive with the languages, but looks bored to death when running for her life. In the nearly two and half hour runtime, I felt like I knew nothing of the characters. Apparently Scanlon and Wakefield were buddies, but was it all a front? Wouldn’t Wardex have a backup plan other than “Ah, damn. The hacker got us”? No no no, send out the unhinged guy. Is Scanlon a villain? He comes off as a man who is aggressively doing his job, but not a complete bad guy. How are we to root for Kellner when he was hacking, served time, stole videos and NOW has a conscience? If so, show me rather than telling. Jane’s character is the worst developed and would be the one to push the most: She’s a former nun whose faith is being tested by the idea that aliens exist. Her whole world, as well as billions of people globally, is about to be obliterated. Life as she knew it, dedicated her life, history books are all about to explode with facts and it’s handled like a child dropping their old toy.

^{“Yeah … I’m totally scared for my life.” A very bored Blunt with Josh O’Connor as Dr. Daniel Kellner}

A big issue is that the movie takes place in 2026. This might be showing that Spielberg is losing touch, but the general public doesn’t watch broadcast news anymore. I really mean that. With trust in mainstream media being at an all time low, the vast majority of America wouldn’t care about a Kansas City weather girl talking in tongues on air or they would think it’s artificial intelligence. Either way, the point in the film: A race to put the alien footage live on air, falls apart faster than you can say “Welcome to Earth.” I can’t compare myself to the genius of Spielberg, but a live stream to phones or YouTube video dump would be more compelling.

Maybe I expected more from such an icon of icons. Had this movie been made by a filmmaker of a lesser resume, I would say this is a solid attempt and I would be interested in seeing their next movie. But this is Spielberg. To say that Day is a bad movie would be an insult to the cinematography and back breaking work that went into making it. Visually, it’s a stunning film. You feel the racing pulse of the characters’ investment, but you can’t tell why they are invested. My review may be on the negative side, but rest assured: I come in peace.

Disclosure Day is now playing in theaters

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Written by David Koepp and Steven Spielberg

Starring: Emily Blunt, Josh O’Connor, Colin Firth

Genre: Sci-fi and Action

Runtime: 145 mins

by Christopher Kelly June 19, 2026

Scary MoVIe

Wayans played it too safe.

Look, I’ll be the first to admit it: I am a wordy guy. I love to talk, I love to dive deep into the weeds of cinema, and I especially love it when a movie gives me something—anything—to chew on. But after sitting through Scary MoVIe, I’m left with a mouthful of nothing. It breaks my heart to say this, but it appears the Wayans family has finally gone soft in their old age. We’re talking about Keenen Ivory Wayans here—the man is a comedic architect! At nearly 70, the genius who helped give us the original Scary Movie franchise seems to have decided that playing it safe is the new “pushing the envelope.”

The Wayans family, whose family consists of a small nation of people, were known to the world in the 80’s and 90’s for their pushing-the-envelope style of comedy in shows like In Living Color and movies like I’m Gonna Git You Sucka. Keenen all but brought back to life the parody in these times while producing great flicks and comedy specials like Eddie Murphy’s Raw and allowed other siblings to mature on their own.

Then the millennium hit, and we got Scary Movie. It was raunchy, it was unapologetic, and it made celebrities fair game again. I remember the energy in the theater—it felt like the Wayans were back in business and the world was their oyster. It was a massive hit, and for a minute there, the parody felt relevant again.

Part 2 was equally as funny, if not more quotable. Seriously, I dare you to find a millennial who doesn’t know “My germs!” The Wayans’ exited when part three was discussed due to wanting more money, but who could blame them?

Anyways, fans of the series somewhat rejoiced (remember: Those of us who were in our teens to early 20’s when the franchise started are now 40+) when it was announced that the brothers were broke, no longer in demand, on the wrong side of over the hill, but got the rights back for the franchise. See guys: it’s not that hard to make fun of yourself.

But man, was I wrong. Has it really been 13 years since the last one? I stopped watching when the brothers left, and frankly, parodies died for me because no one can handle a joke anymore. We used to have roasts; now we have HR meetings with punchlines. MoVIe is less a film and more a collection of vignettes that someone forgot to glue together. It’s a lot of non-laughter and missed opportunities.

The “Rebootiquel” (reboot/sequel), has Cindy (Ana Farris) waiting for Ghost Face’s return in a heavily booby trapped home (Final Destination: Bloodlines meets Halloween (2018)). Her neglected daughters Sara (Olivia Rose Keegan, who does a great job acting like Cindy) and Tuesday (Savannah Lee Nassif) start to see a death pattern returning to their hometown and its pointing to Cindy and her high school pals.

Sara and her boyfriend Jack (Cameron Roberts) go to talk to Cindy, only to come up short. Speaking of short, remember Shorty (Marlon Wayans, also co-writer)? Well he’s back and looking well into his 50’s, much like older bro Shawn, who returns to play the stereotyped in-the-closet Ray. Ghost Face continues to wreak havoc and the original line up from Movie has to take out the trash to prove that they will never be replaced.

The movie is a parody of the Scream franchise first and foremost, focussing on part six and seven. Just about everyone knows the 90’s slasher was a tongue-in-cheek look at the craze from a decade prior and was originally called Scary Movie. So when those movies stopped (this may be a hard pill to swallow, but Scream was originally a planned trilogy), Movie had to parody other flicks of the day, which grew tiresome before they were even made. The parody is only funny when it’s relevant or has a fun storyline. Robin Hood: Men in Tights , Spaceballs or the before mentioned I’m Gonna Git You Sucka are all perfect examples of how to have a story and parody at the same time.

The Movie wave struck hard in the 2000’s: Epic Movie, Super Hero Movie and Date Movie to name a few. At first the fad worked but soon the fun and excitement left the room faster than Marvel’s fanbase.

The main issue with MoVIe is that the Wayans’ played it too safe with the jokes. Rather than roast each other or point out shortcomings, they wanted to make a flattering joke that would make a smile and have people go “Oh fun,” instead of hollering and say “Ahhhhahahaha!!! Got’ em!”

In the opening, Teyana Taylor is on a blind date waiting for the man to show up (a la Scream 6). Rather than making a joke about her, they pay homage to her still being a “New York City girl” and ready to shake up the white folks. Well, her lines land like a wet fart. Why were there no jokes about HIM? I loved that flick and it was obvious Marlon acted his brains out, but c’mon. Shawn’s Ray does a joke combining Mr. Delivert and Sinners. Bruh, that video is from 12 years ago. The Wayans had a good set up for Covid, but decided against it when they lost so many family members, so why bother? The original lineup looks tired and wanting to be in another movie.

That’s not to say all the jokes were bad. In the beginning, Sara and Jack are talking outside of their amusement park jobs while “Final Destination: The Ride Where Everyone DIES!” is proudly displayed. While they talk, the ride is going haywire, and much like the tagline suggests: Everyone is being killed. Brenda (Regina Hall, the only character I liked) has a great line when Cindy rolls up to the party ready to kill Ghost Face. Cindy is dressed like a sexy assassin. “Oh, girl, are you ‘Joan Wick?’ I was gonna say ‘Ballerina’ but nobody saw that shit.” Her whole character is a riff on Ma. That movie has been out for seven years and NO ONE has made fun of it until now. She continues in a hilarious bit about being shot. A great bit involving Nurse DEI.

The Wayans’ have built their name on going too far and to see them take the flattering comedic route is like watching ice cream melt. It used to be good, solid and cool. Now, it’s just mushy goo. Gone are the days where they could shit talk and now is “I hope I didn’t upset you.” The bulk of the movie felt like when Saturday Night Live made fun of Joe Biden. Rather than pointing out the American public voted in a man who fell asleep during meetings and couldn’t be disturbed after 8pm they turned the other way and said “Everything is fine, nothing to see here!” like Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun. When questioned about it, his press secretary says “Oh those are cheapfakes.” The whole nation pretends that everything is normal while Ghost Face is chillin and killin. I know Leslie Neilsen is dead, but you can bring back President Harris and really let it go.

See? It’s not that difficult.

Scary MoVIe is now playing in theaters

Directed by Michael Tiddes

Written by Keenen Ivory Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Craig Wayans and Rick Alvarez

Starring: Ana Farris, Regina Hall, Marlon Wayans

Genre: Comedy

Runtime: 96 mins

by Christopher Kelly June 11, 2026June 11, 2026

So I’ve finally made a blog

It really was inevitable. My reviews were getting too wordy for Instagram and I wanted to say more. I know most people didn’t have an issue with it, but I did. I like being wordy. In fact, it’s one of my downfalls. Also, I’m greedy and I want to own my words. What’s a real bummer is that you don’t actually own anything that’s on social media, so I decided to take the plunge and drop $96 a year and create my own blog. So I could be more wordy and … ownership.

If you’re already an avid reader of my posts, then thank you for coming onto the blog. If this is your first time, then allow myself to introduce myself: I’m Chris Kelly. I love movies and I love talking about them. As far back as I can remember I’ve loved going to the theater and watching films. Yes, I know I could have spent my time being more productive, but I loved the cinema. The darkness, the smell and the exciting movies! It’s all so surreal. I couldn’t say which was my favorite movie growing up, because I loved them all. From the far out 60’s hippie flicks to the ridiculous action 80’s cinema to the indie world and beyond: I love ’em. Now that I’m an adult, I figured I would create my own blog. It’ll be filled with reviews, thoughts, friend’s posts (as I am friends with writers) and more.

The reviews will be longer and more in-depth; the podcast will stay the same. In fact, just about everything will be the same. Although I like posting my reviews to Instagram, they really needed to be longer and

I hate being constricted to so many words and now I can write out what length I think the reviews should be. Not only that, but I can write out more things and invite others to join in on the fun! I’m very new to the blogging world, so bear with me as I learn as I go.

If you’re a fan of movies and reading movie reviews then you’ve found the right place. This blog is based on my podcast of the same name and the reviews I was putting on Instagram and Facebook. So, kick back, check out my thoughts and hit me up for a chance to write for this blog.

Mortal Kombat II

It’s head splitting, blood drenched fun! Check it out! Way back in 1992 the world was clobbered with one of the most violent video games of all time: Mortal Kombat. The ultra-violent, parent-angering, two person fighter was all the rage. With hitt a few buttons, you could throw a hook at your opponent, yell “GET…

by Christopher Kelly May 22, 2026May 22, 2026

Primate

See it ASAP! It’s a blast! Finally! A movie for me! It’s been a few weeks since I’ve made it to the theaters to review anything. With the new house, building my new studio (by myself mainly. What? You didn’t think I knew how to use my hands?), I had to put things on hold.…

by Christopher Kelly February 3, 2026February 3, 2026

Silent Night Deadly Night

Don’t be a Grinch: It’s a blast! It’s a slasher that’s a remake of a slasher from 40 years ago that was one of the most protested movies in history due to its depiction of Santa Claus as a killer. The original Silent Night Deadly Night is jam packed with cult classic lines shouted like…

by Christopher Kelly December 18, 2025December 18, 2025