Give it a few days before making a final call.

---

After making their busting-through-the-walls movie last year with The Substance, Mubi is back and they’re throwing more arthouse on the table. Lynne Ramsay’s latest movie Die My Love is a hard hitting flick about a woman spiraling into madness due to postpartum depression. It’s stacked with stellar performances, off-the-walls moments and a cat-and-mouse storyline when there is no cat or mouse. I don’t always agree with the critics, but Love is one of those movies you have let marinate in your mind before making a judgement.

There you have it: The whole thing about Love that everyone is wondering about but is too afraid to ask. At first I was pretty confused why everyone was on board with the movie when I really didn’t care for the characters and felt the directing style was too pretentious for what the movie is. Afterall, this isn’t splitting the atom. However, after taking a few days to process, I thought about what I watched and it grew on me. 

_{How it started. Grace (Jennifer Lawrence) and Jackson (Robert Pattinson)}

Jackson (Robert Pattinson) is in a sweet but difficult spot. His uncle has passed away and in his will, he left Jackson his home in the woods. Grace (Jennifer Lawrence) is kind of split on the idea, but a free house is a free house. The two immediately start making love and nine months later, a little baby joins their house of love. 

The duo have a hard time adapting to being parents and continue their pre-baby lives: Drinking all day, playing music, dancing and generally forgetting they have a baby. Jackson soon starts to realize that the family needs money for things so he gets a part time job, leaving Grace with the baby. During one of his lunchbreaks, Grace calls Jackson to see what he’s up to and immediately thinks he must be cheating on her because she’s a gross mom and not some sexy burger slinging waitress. 

Karl, the motorcycle neighbor (LaKeith Stanfield), drives past the house daily and starts to see that Grace is in need of manly attention. Karl drops into second gear and leaves Jackson in the dust. Or does he? Jackson might be cheating, Grace is mentally unstable, so the smartest thing to do is get married. That’ll solve all our problems. What could go wrong? 

_{How it was.}

Love is a movie I really didn’t like at the moment and it took me a few days to collect my thoughts. In the theater, I texted my friend and he agreed with me on how bad it was. After a few days, I changed my mind. As a father myself, I have a little experience with postpartum depression. No, my wife didn’t go full Grace, but we both had issues adjusting to our new roles in the world. We were now in the backseat of our own lives and our child was first and foremost. Had I been in my teens or early 20s, instead of nearly 40 when I became a dad, I probably would have had a harder time. Now, my life is a “shit or get off the pot” motto. I don’t care for things I loved in my 20’s (aside from movies and coffee) and things I didn’t know are more priority. Director Ramsay is a mother as well, so I imagine there’s some personal connection to Grace. 

Jackson wants to do right, but when your world is upside down, who’s to say what is right-side up? Five minutes ago Grace was slamming vodka and Jackson is an idiot? Grace wants to go back to a time when she was carefree and had no responsibilities. Is Karl a real character? Does it matter? Is Jackson a bad guy? All he wants to do is hang out and dream. 

Unlike Nightbitch, I felt that Love really showed all sides of postpartum and not just through the eyes of a woman struggling to go back to a time without a child. In that movie, which is about the same subject, the main character is a married mom and the conclusion is that her life is better as a single mom, as long as her ex-husband pays the bills. Although I haven’t read Die My Love, the novel by Ariana Harwicz, audiences have considered it her best in “unfit mother” novels. Taking that approach, I wouldn’t say Grace is unfit, but she clearly didn’t want to have a baby, let alone get married.

Love comes off as an in-depth psychedelic ride into madness when there’s no accurate way to tell the story. How do you explain parenthood to those who aren’t? How do you get rid of a free house when you’re homeless? Why get a job when your biggest expense is diapers? 

The answers to everything are in the stars, mmmmaaaaannnnnnn …

_{How it’s going.}

---

Die My Love is now playing in theaters

Director: Lynne Ramsay

Writers: Enda Walsh, Lynne Ramsay, Alice Birch

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Robert Pattinson, LaKeith Stanfield

Genre: Drama

Rating: R

Runtime: 119 mins